Vat Savitri

 

Ramya got place to sit and she relaxed. Metro took speed and so do her thoughts. She was already 13 years back.
Day of Vatapournima Day when wife pray that they would get same husband for years to come. Festival is symbol of love she felt.
And her love was special. She was from upper middle class Brahmin family he was from lower middle class Maratha family but he was handsome well educated and was in love with her.
With all these positive point’s family background took backseat. After initial resistance family agreed. After all what parents want is happiness for their kids.They got married and this was first festival after marriage.
She had seen her mother fasting for this day but constraint that come for working woman with nuclear family probably it was limited to fast and no elaborate celebration. So this was different for her -wearing sari, jewelry, doing Pooja, offering fruits seeking blessing and gift from her husband. She was happy excited. She got compliments from her friends and some remarks like would have loved to do all that with such supporting and caring mother in law. She was in her own happy world. Metro stopped at next station and Ramya was brought back into present.  “Who says light travels at fastest speed. It should be mind.”--Ramya thought...”13 years in 3 minutes what a speed.”. That brought smile on her face.


Train got another jerk and this time it was early morning scene in kitchen. That is the time she shares with her mom in law. “It is Vatapournima tomorrow will u be fasting?”-Mom-in-law inquired. “No Aai”--she politely refused. Conversation ended there. Girls of this generation don’t believe in all this so probably was not much surprise to her or maybe she refused to react but it wasn’t that simple for Ramya. It wasn’t about some religious stuff its more about her faith her trust. She had prayed with all love and faith and her marriage hadn’t ever lasted for a year and we talking about life after life. It was reminder of her failed love marriage. Wounds were healed but scars where still there. “Will I able to get rid of this scar ever?”--.Ramya thought.

“Why don’t u keep fast today?” -Suresh asked while their casual conversation at night lying in bed. She had no answer. He continued as if he was not expecting answer. This is our tradition and we should follow it.I know it is because of your past you don’t trust but will you be able to get over it? “Nothing like that. Next year surely I would keep”--. Ramya replied almost spontaneously. This is man with whom she started life again. He stood behind her through thick and thin. There was this beautiful gift god has given both of them. Sleeping peacefully on his arms. There was one love spontaneous immature which couldn’t stand reality of life and there was this love which has blossom gradually over time,. More mature. Can’t she do this much for the second chance that god has given to her. About strength that god has given to her to trust someone again to love someone again to start over once again and enjoy this beautiful life. Strength to forgive herself and forget past.
She wanted to do this for someone else and not for herself. This is true love she felt. She wanted to do it for not years to come but for now that she was living in.This was effortless decision.” I will surely do it next year”-- peacefully she said and slept.


“How come you are fasting today?”-- He teased her.
“Because I promised you so last year .Don’t you recollect?”--she replied with smile. And there “Off course I remember.”—Suresh too replied with smile on his face.

Ramya got place to sit and she relaxed .her mobile buzzed. There as another message link there..

http://kahitarinavinahe.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-06-23T10:14:00%2B05:30&max-results=1&start=8&by-date=false

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she read it.

“Life doesn’t give second chance to all “--she though...”I have been lucky and god’s favorite child indeed!”

Juhu Beach and Story of Two Flowers.

Juhu Beach=Fun is the equation which I have in my mind for years now. Roots are back in the childhood days I guess age of 7 to 12
summer vacation and used to visit my mama’s place. He used to take us all to Juhu. Camel ride, round zhoola with horses at its end,bhel, kulfi, ice-cream and off course making mountains ,castle with sands. Couple of hours at Juhu beach used to be magical. Over period of time as we grew up studies classes tuitions practical why.vaa filled month of May and there were no more summer vacations and so visits to Juhu.
    After probably more than 2 decades post marriage, again started occasional visits at Juhu.
Juhu had definitely changed face over 2 decade but so do life has changed.
Clean white water was history.. rush may be 20folded in 20 years. All camels, horses have been driven away.Small chat stalls have regular concrete shops now.There are guards now to keep beach clean but still some things are still the same. Fascination for water, sand , sunset, cool breeze that  carries scent of salt water ,playing in sand and off course walks along see shore.  
People all around but Juhu seems to cajole all of them. Rich, poor, middle class, young, old, middle aged, kids,young couples, newly married. It seems like gathering of all.You can spend hours at beach all alone but you would never be alone and never get bored. How much ever time u spend there its always  “dil mange more.. “

This time visit to beach was special. We were planning for it for months. Its year my nephew was in 10th so it was year of more studies less masti, less eating out, less junk food and taking  care if health.so we had decided end of year and we would visit juhu and hog on endlessly.
Pavbhaji tawapulav chat items faluda gola list was endless but we knew our capacity and sure to chuck it all.
So thre was end of exams wait was over and date of juhu visit got fixed. Count of 6 dumped in 1 car we headed towards our destination.
Newspaper water bottle beach set packet of lays we all were set.
We felt Juhu beach was crowded this time with more stalls than be4.more chaiwallas more channachore trying to lure us.
Cooler breeze bigger castles some photo time and we headed for food stalls. Everything was as per plan perfect as we had decided and then there we were standing just outside food stall lingering just to decide what to be done next. A small boy selling attractive plastic pen flowers approached us. A boy shorter than my son may be younger than him selling stuff. Not sure if he knew to how to speak was not sure of language he using only language he know was salesman’s language. May be he knew how 10 rs not looks like and he knew he has to give 1 flower and take that note.
He couldn’t hold that 1 packet of pens ..while trying to take out 1 pen 2 other were falling off he was struggling to get them back but he has got his customer.My sister was helping him collecting his stuff together and giving him his hard earned money. Buyer my son who was approximately same age as that of seller was happy holding his new stuff and there was I standing still ..once again who had witnessed reality of life..It wasn’t as if we are not aware of it, bitter truths of life but it hits you hard if u r not prepared.it stands out when appears in just black and white. somehow I gathered myself at least we have done our share by buying his stuff and we all moved on again to relax for some more time near water and from nowhere again a small boy appeared hanging on my nephews arms who was carrying additional pack of tawa pulav.not knowing what to do he looked as us ..we asked him to let go pack of food and then the boy again ran away with that bag he almost vanished in that crowd. We all were taken back by the episode.All of us were carrying some bags or other but he managed to spot the right one.   Was he trained for that? By his parents or had his parents left him all alone at roadside by his destiny..for some questions there are no answers..
  More we try to find answers only thing we get is more unanswered questions.. Helplessness and depression. This is really of life we have to accept it as is if we can’t change it.
Story of two flowers ...one to struggle to earn his leavings and other to become doctor engineer pilot whatever he wishes to be...

 

Coffee and cookies with Karen

Subject line caught my attention may be due to similarity with Bollywood gossip show coffee with Karan
I imagined myself as a hostess and Karen as guest and chatting and discussing stuff which really matter a little and that put on smile on my face.
Routine corporate drama in MNC...some executive who has “improve engagement” on her/his goal sheet coming on India visit. Main agenda may be to see Indian culture if its first visit or just another check if its routine visit ...
But here in India all are set to welcome their firang boss. Impress him/her...looking out for drink and dine experience at 5 star hotel at company cost...well let’s admit we don’t visit 5 star hotels on our own expense..
If visitor is woman then special agenda to showcase diversity and equality...
So...there was this special meet to get to know all female members of group.
Being senior member it was responsibility to ask some question in case there is awkward silence or to break the ice.
I had gone through her profile checked with some friends for standard question to ask in such situations. Am really bad at this and I know this very well and trying to work on it.
What to ask when discussions are at such high level we call it strategic ;) what to ask? There are standard question and stereotype answers...we all know answers still we ask...and what if someone asks same thing which you had prepared. Is your backup plan ready...anxiety here too much? May be more than speaker who is facing crowd. May be not...
So here our coffee session began
Some initial discussion and introduction I realized this is not one if those routine checkmark sessions
This lady is genuinely passionate about her work and women in technology as a whole
May be challenges faces by working women do not have boundaries of country for that .Base problems are same which knows only one category female species..
Here is the advice that she gave to fresh graduates from college eager to work.to new mothers. Working mothers and then women in general.
You may call it all had come from personal experience or things that she saw around.

 

·         Choose your husband wisely
Heart doesn’t listen to brain but please think long term when you choose your life partner discuss about your aspirations as well along with his. Think about your career goals what you achieve in your life as an individual along with other things that you want to do as a couple or a family.
It’s important to keep your intellectual quotient fulfilled as your emotional quotient.

            You can be happy only when it’s balanced.

·         Do fare compromise

It’s not easy to bake your cake and have it too. Well u need to set your priorities and make compromises. Make fare compromise so that then you will not feel bad about things that you choose not to do rather you would feel good about your choices.

·         Put in effort
For a working women mother it is difficult to pay attention to her hobbies. Work family kids rest all seems to take higher priorities at times. But be aware of this trap. Understand your own hobbies are equally important. To cultivate that you need to put extra efforts.
It is not easy and understand that.

·         About guilt that mothers feel when they step out of house for working leaving their babies home. .

It is again about making fair compromises and conscious decision that you take. If you have taken thoughtful decision you will never feel that guilt.
Any time you feel that guilt go back to time when you had taken that tough decision those pros and cons.

Do they still hold true? Or something had changed over time
Are positives still weighting high or scale has tilted over other side.
Think yourself. Ask for advices nothing wrong in asking for help but in the end do what you feel is good for you.
For someone career could take higher for other family.
No one is right or wrong its personal choice and you should be happy with your decision.

·         Stay away from butterfly mommies

Well..stay at home mommies may get offended but that is the fact. They have chosen home their kids as their working field willing or unwilling because of situation so that is what their focus is. They would come to pick up and drop their kid. They will have time to hang on and do chitchat. They would talk about how they take studies of kids, take kids to different hobby classes’ nutritious food they cook especially for kids. Sometimes they will say they feel sorry about you as you may not get time to do this all or they may admire for the way you handle both home and work.

Beware of these comments. There is no need to feel bad or overwhelmed. Remember it’s just the choice that you have taken.

Simple points but it covers mostly all problems that women face.I actually had given deep thought on what she said.
So advice from expert in my words for all you ladies.it has helped me and am sure it would help you.
And off course we had cafe Coffee day coffee and cookies.