Coffee and cookies with Karen

Subject line caught my attention may be due to similarity with Bollywood gossip show coffee with Karan
I imagined myself as a hostess and Karen as guest and chatting and discussing stuff which really matter a little and that put on smile on my face.
Routine corporate drama in MNC...some executive who has “improve engagement” on her/his goal sheet coming on India visit. Main agenda may be to see Indian culture if its first visit or just another check if its routine visit ...
But here in India all are set to welcome their firang boss. Impress him/her...looking out for drink and dine experience at 5 star hotel at company cost...well let’s admit we don’t visit 5 star hotels on our own expense..
If visitor is woman then special agenda to showcase diversity and equality...
So...there was this special meet to get to know all female members of group.
Being senior member it was responsibility to ask some question in case there is awkward silence or to break the ice.
I had gone through her profile checked with some friends for standard question to ask in such situations. Am really bad at this and I know this very well and trying to work on it.
What to ask when discussions are at such high level we call it strategic ;) what to ask? There are standard question and stereotype answers...we all know answers still we ask...and what if someone asks same thing which you had prepared. Is your backup plan ready...anxiety here too much? May be more than speaker who is facing crowd. May be not...
So here our coffee session began
Some initial discussion and introduction I realized this is not one if those routine checkmark sessions
This lady is genuinely passionate about her work and women in technology as a whole
May be challenges faces by working women do not have boundaries of country for that .Base problems are same which knows only one category female species..
Here is the advice that she gave to fresh graduates from college eager to work.to new mothers. Working mothers and then women in general.
You may call it all had come from personal experience or things that she saw around.

 

·         Choose your husband wisely
Heart doesn’t listen to brain but please think long term when you choose your life partner discuss about your aspirations as well along with his. Think about your career goals what you achieve in your life as an individual along with other things that you want to do as a couple or a family.
It’s important to keep your intellectual quotient fulfilled as your emotional quotient.

            You can be happy only when it’s balanced.

·         Do fare compromise

It’s not easy to bake your cake and have it too. Well u need to set your priorities and make compromises. Make fare compromise so that then you will not feel bad about things that you choose not to do rather you would feel good about your choices.

·         Put in effort
For a working women mother it is difficult to pay attention to her hobbies. Work family kids rest all seems to take higher priorities at times. But be aware of this trap. Understand your own hobbies are equally important. To cultivate that you need to put extra efforts.
It is not easy and understand that.

·         About guilt that mothers feel when they step out of house for working leaving their babies home. .

It is again about making fair compromises and conscious decision that you take. If you have taken thoughtful decision you will never feel that guilt.
Any time you feel that guilt go back to time when you had taken that tough decision those pros and cons.

Do they still hold true? Or something had changed over time
Are positives still weighting high or scale has tilted over other side.
Think yourself. Ask for advices nothing wrong in asking for help but in the end do what you feel is good for you.
For someone career could take higher for other family.
No one is right or wrong its personal choice and you should be happy with your decision.

·         Stay away from butterfly mommies

Well..stay at home mommies may get offended but that is the fact. They have chosen home their kids as their working field willing or unwilling because of situation so that is what their focus is. They would come to pick up and drop their kid. They will have time to hang on and do chitchat. They would talk about how they take studies of kids, take kids to different hobby classes’ nutritious food they cook especially for kids. Sometimes they will say they feel sorry about you as you may not get time to do this all or they may admire for the way you handle both home and work.

Beware of these comments. There is no need to feel bad or overwhelmed. Remember it’s just the choice that you have taken.

Simple points but it covers mostly all problems that women face.I actually had given deep thought on what she said.
So advice from expert in my words for all you ladies.it has helped me and am sure it would help you.
And off course we had cafe Coffee day coffee and cookies.