Eight Fears

Its Day 1 of #21Day lockdown
First time something like this happening and its scary.
More you follow whatz app and social media more nervous and fearful you get.
So probably social distancing should include social media distancing as well
When people all over the world are fearing Corona virus , staying home to fight it, this is right time to sit back and introspect and identify fears that we have gathered over time.

This one was more difficult than I thought it would be.
When I can list 10 secrets , 9 loves ,fears are just 8 so it must be easier.
But it was not so and I realised this challenge is going to get tougher as I reach to number one.

As we get older some fears that we had as kids just vanish and we unknowingly develop new ones which make us wonder if innocence of childhood makes us bolder.
Over weekends watching fear factor makes me ponder how many faces fear can have. Fear of cars, fear of speed, fear of water, fear of reptiles, animals, cockroaches ,height ,electric shocks...and you can really get creative over here.

Fear when it reaches to a point where just thinking about it makes you break down turns into phobia and when I search about phobia, spellings of those names gave me fear.There are categories and subcategories and exhaustive lists which are listed alphabetically.
After reading all that I gave myself pat on the back for not having any of such phobias.
Fear of cockroaches/lizards which would make my younger self scream vanished gradually when I moved into my own home and started driving away smallest cockroach even on outside of balcony wall.Its my home how dare you enter...that kind of approach you see :).

As a kid remember had fear of water and could never learn to swim.Now when I look at it feels if situation demands I may actually swim (only if mass gathered over the years allows me to do so ;)

fear of being left out...no,
fear of exams...no
fear of not getting god marks in exams...no,
fear of being alone at home..no
fear of height..no
Stage fear...no
fear of parents...no
what else
none of these fears as a child I had..
wow I must have been a brave kid...
and as after all these years am I still same fearless person?

May be time to deep dive further and get those deeply rooted fears out to surface and face it.
First thing to fight fear is to accept it.
To the outside world we pretend we are strong person but we all fear few things and when I thought about it I could get my fear points and strength as well to fight them back.

May be this would be short and just to the point.
Our own fears are the real and genuine one and we really can not elaborate them and sit back and enjoy as horror movie.

Fear of losing dear ones
Accidents, heart attack, hospital visits all this is not for my family and it happens with others ,not with me. By gods grace I was able to live with this for many years.But life has it ups and down and at times it shows its ugly face.But the fear of losing dear ones is hard to face.

Fear of Ambulance siren
On busy street of Mumbai when you travel and suddenly you hear ambulance siren ,senses go numb for a moment.Fingers get crossed praying for speedy recovery of unknown person there inside.
Sitting next to sick person in an ambulance is something no one should experience

Fear of phone calls from known people at unexpected time
Phone bell rings, you see the known number and you see the time.
Why he/she calling at this point in time is the first thought that cross my mind.
सहजच केला होता You hear that आणि जीव भांड्यात पडतो
but for those few seconds fear that you experience I just wish not to face it again ever.

Fear of rejection

What if someone doesn't like the way I talk..the way I walk...the way I dress...the way I look...the way I cook....
What if...
All these question arise from fear of rejection.Even thought its extremely difficult to admit now,some how unknowingly this fear had creeped in me.Once you accept it then only you can get rid of it if you wish to.
It had taken good amount of time to get rid of it.So just be aware not to let this take over you.
Whatever you are ,who ever you are..
you are at your best and no one but only you have to accept yourself the way you are and then done.Fear of rejection can not touch you.

Fear of how future of our kids be
This one you get as a reward of motherhood I suppose.
Are we raising our kids right ?Are we giving them proper education and values which will make them better human being. Don't we all live with this constant fear.Every generation has to face its own set of challenges.What challenges our kids with have to face in future are we making them strong enough to handle them.Are we giving them strong emotional base and values which will help them to sail through the tough times.

Fear of being dependant
जो दुसऱ्यावरी विसंबला त्याचा कार्यभाग संपला
long back in school times have studied this proverb.
But as you grow old you know the real meaning of it.Whether it is a Financial dependance or emotional dependance ,physical dependance even a thought of it is like a nightmare.
Practice of minimalism, mindfulness...am trying to find different ways to deal with it.

Fear of being not good enough
In the world that cheers only for the best where the person who is good stands..
Even if he is good it becomes just good enough.Delivering high performance all the time in all area of life practically is it possible also I wonder...but we all run this race constantly to be the best fearing we are not good enough.

Fear of untimely exit
Live in the present moment that is all what you have.
Easy to be said than done.Uncertainty of life is what fears the most when we see untimely exits for near and dear ones.It forces us to look at life from right perspective.If no one can guarantee the very next moment then the day which we live make most of it and live as if its last day of your life.